Since my hubby has been in AIT in San Antonio, our relationship has just been one hell of a ride on a roller coaster. I shit you not. The ups and downs I've been experiencing, suck fucking balls. I hate it. I hate it SO much! I am such a caring, loving person, believe it or not, that the shit Im going through with him just shatters me! I become so weak and depressed, then we solve it, (there's those highs) and then POW, back to some low as fuck lows. Im a fighter though. Im on the ride with him no matter how good or bad it gets, I just really hope we can figure this shit out, before its gets so bad it never goes back up! Though I prefer to just experience the highs all the time, I'd totally be down with a drive....straight and steady pullleeaasseee!
Im not perfect, and anyone who claims they are can suck a fat one! Damn Liars, life gives you lessons everyday, you live and you learn, I've come a long way. I'd like to say I am proud of the woman I have become, I mean FUCK I graduated college with a BA, Im a mother to a beautiful daughter, Im a wife thats fucking kickass if you ask me, and have a couple pretty awesome friends. I don't need much else to be happy. I not about the material shit. I only need what's required to live and be a parent. I ask for nothing more. Honestly I don't. I cant deny the fact that I do own some nice things, but I would give them up in a heartbeat if I needed to, aka sell them bad boys if ever in a financial struggle, and I've come close to doing it. But to me what is important in my life, is happiness and love, unconditional love, and family. Oh and paying bills. as much as I hate those stupid fucking things, rent, PG&E, and car payments happen to be on my TOP list of things to fucking handle. There are just some things that are a necessity, and if I didnt have a baby, I'd fucking ride my gottdamn bike everywhere, cause then I'd be sexy as fuck from all that exercise! lmao. WINNING, but thats not the case so whatever. Car thats falling apart it is!
I cannot sit here and be fake, and act like my life is perfect, and I'm always happy and shit, cause thats just not the case. I have some amazing days, where I'm riding on cloud nine, and I have so horrific days where I just cry and cry and cant stop crying. Today I took another ride on the roller-coaster of marriage, and it wasn't a fun one. I felt numb, I felt confused, I couldn't understand what was happening, in fact I still don't. But because I am who I am, a woman who doesn't give up on anything she believes in, I'm going to ride it out, and see what happens, and love unconditionally. I'll hold my ground of course, but I have to expect the unexpected. I bet you hookers are wondering WTF is this bitch talking about. She's saying a WHOLE lot with out saying anything at all! I took a huge leap by even going THERE with my readers, but hey...YOLO! lol
This bitch has a long day ahead of her and is NOT looking forwards to it!