Speechless

Today was another BAD day. 

I'm so sick of bad days and crying. 

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. 

Sat at my moms most of the day/night watching the olympics and talking.

She kind of had to take care of my baby for me because I was unable to, thats how bad I was.

Sigh.....I don't have the worst life....

My brain and heart are just fucking me over. 

And the one who can make it better, is the one who makes it worse. 

xoxox!!

I made a new friend today

My day was pretty BLAH. Absolutely NOTHING interesting happened. 

Im SUPER EXCITED to watch the olympics on the other hand. 

My favorite things to watch are Soccer (My #1) Gymnastics, and swimming. 

YESSSSSSS! GO USA! WOOOOT! 

But anyways, I had a lovely giant yellow visitor tonight! 

I named her CREEPER, because she does just that. She CREEPS!

Awww, aint she cute! Looks at those eyes!

LOLOLOLOL

Im told Praying Mantis' bring good luck....SO....Heres to the future of good luck you shall bring me creepster. <3

Well fuck. 

I miss my hubby like no fucking other. I wish AIT would just BE OVER, so I could hug, kiss, hump, and cuddle....yes in that order! "PROBLEM?" lol

The distance is fucking killing us! Sighhh.....2 more months...REALLY? Thats a shit load more days! 

We did find out our future destination is Ft Carson Colorado. Yeah Im pumped, but there better not be no fucking tornados while I'm there.....I will die. Im sure of it. 

I hope my weeks gets interesting. MERP!

Hope you all have a 'Mazing Monday (:

xoxox!!

Shit I Hate Sunday

Because I love her so, & Hate too much shit <3


RockinMama

Shit I hate: Washing the dishes, Bitches need to wash there own damn self! Grow some little hands and feet and handle it! Thanks Much!
Shit I Hate: Little fuckers at work that love to shoot the dirty ass green pool water at me, the attendant! Fuck you you little snotballs! 
Shit I hate: Being Tall, Yeah that shit is annoying! I was always taller then the boys in school, hell im taller then my husband! AMAZON WOMAN!!!
Shit I hate: Bills! I need to be a wilderness woman, and fucking not live in this electronic century. Notice ALL electronics cost fucking money somehow some way! I need to flinestone this shit!
Shit I hate: Laundry. OMG, I just hate that shit! I'll wear my clothes till either they smell or I spill on it.
Shit I hate: Texting someone, and not getting a response for like 3 hours. Go kill yourself! I wont respond...and you can see how it feels!
Shit I hate: alllll thissss BLUBBER all over my body. Seriously, WHY, No one asked you to stick around after baby. Can you fucking GTFO! oohhh Cupcake....
Shit I hate: HORMONES AND EMOTIONS, and I'm not even pregnant! I pissed on another stick to be sure, and NOPE still no extra hormones...but they are definately RAGING! RAWR! 

Well There you have it, Shit I hate.  
Beautiful is it not? AHH HAAAA! Until Next time lovers!
xoxox!!

Psycho Rant

Fuck this, Fuck that, Suck my dick, Eat shit.

BEER, all I want is BEER! BEEEEEEEER! Get drunk on the goodness of these 4 fucking delish Coronoas! Why because FUCK THIS, FUCK THAT,  SUCK MY DICK, AND EAT SHIT!

Fuck today, Fuck tomorrow, Fuck Food, Fuck life. 

Im a rancid BITCH tonight. It's just that kind of night. Don't wanna read my shit, then FUCK OFF, im not here to entertain not a gott damn person but my ownself. Imma cuss like a GOTT DAMN SAILOR tonight because, I FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT. Id rather be a angry psychotic bitch right now then CRY and have a bigass headache with swollen eyes. 

Emotions, FUCK YOU! Get the fuck off my top. I hope you bitches burn in hell for doing this shit to me. 

Being a fucking girl with hormones has to be the most annoying damn thing in the universe! 

I hope my hormones DIE! 

Maybe I am a pregnant bitch, I haven't started my fucking period in a month and a half, the bitchass preggo test last week was negative, yet I STILL HAVENT FUCKING STARTED....I hope its just some shit with post baby crap! Cause I will pop a blood vessel if I'm pregnant, BTW CHEERS TO ANOTHER FUCKING BEER! 

I do however hope I am NOT pregnant because downing 4 beers is probably not good for a baby...I do have a fucking heart! 

FUCK YOU JULY! You have been one of the SHITTIEST months in a few years! I fucking hate you! I cannot wait for you to be over.! Maybe august will be a better month! HERES TO BEING HOPEFUL...

Well fuck it, Here is my raggedy psycho bitch post. Hopefully it will be the only fucking one! FUCK BEING SAD! Just be angry and bitchy on blogger! YES FUCKING SIR!

AWWWW FUCK ME, PART FOUL, KICKED OVER THE BEER! SLAPPED MYSELF FOR THAT! 

xoxox!!

I confess....

OKAY, So I decided to do another link up. It's a simple way for ya'll awesome mamas to learn more about me, with out me doing crazy psychotic shit like venting, or getting SUPER sappy! 
Hope you like!

Our Dandelion Wishes
I confess: I love the idea of cleaning, but don't actually enjoy cleaning...wish I was rich and could afford a maid.
I confess: I don't generally feel like I spend enough quality time with my daughter. I constantly check my FB, Blog, Instagram, Tumblr, Texts, and games on my phone. I wonder if she notices. I could be playing with her, reading to her, talking to her, singing and dancing with her. Sigh...
I confess: I am one impatient person. When I first started my daughter on solids and it took forever, I was like WTF! I didn't realize how time consuming it would be! I guess I'll learn over time...
I confess: I strongly dislike doctors offices who don't keep your appt. Seriously, I made an appt for 1030am, not 1140am. So when I go to the window to ask why the fuck I've been sitting in the waiting room over an hour and notice the two names with appts after me were called before me, don't question why I have a fucking attitude. If it wasn't for the fact that I love the nurse practitioner I see, I'd be so long gone!
I confess: Im absolutely terrified of the future. I have so many questions and none have answers! Military life. But Just cause Im scared of the change, doesn't mean I don't look forward to it. 
I confess: I have a very low self esteem, I am very self conscious. At one point in my life, You could find me In my bikini rocking my hott bod, Now...I don't even own a swim suit because I'm to embarrassed from my post baby body. I seriously could just cry cause I miss what I used to be. and I don't think my uterus ever went back to its normal size. fucking bullshit! 
I confess: That I am FULL BLOWN HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE with my husband. We're not perfect, we fight, we argue, we laugh, we joke, we kiss, we make up. It;s daily work, but I'm happy to be venturing down this journey called life with him and out little. <3

Alright well, If I continue to confess, I'll have nothing to confess next week! LOLHope you hookers enjoy!
xoxox!!

Fill In the Blank Friday

I don't do many link ups.... basically cause I don't understand this shit. 

But Im being forced against my will by Destiny over at Rockin Mama to do this one 

because its just sooo "RAD."

She gives many props to lauren @ The Little Things We Do for this link up, so I am gonna give it a go! 

1.  I am young at heart. I always pictured the perfect date as going to the batting cages, then getting ice cream while wearing mix matched knee high socks. I just want to have fun and be carefree. The park is my best friend! 

2.   I have always been in love with soccer. I started playing at age 7, and played through my senior year of high school, but due to some shitty knee and ankle injuries, I never was able to play at the collegiate level. Break my heart, I miss it terribly! 

3.  I hope to have a very strong bond with my daughter as she grows older. I hope that we will be very close, I adore her, and I hope to never disappoint her

4. I can make some pretty fucking amazing bows for having only been doing it for a month! I don't care if they are simple...they rock! And no one has guided me on this adventure either. Only some online tutorials! 

5. I dream of  growing ld with the hubby, and having a happy and fulfilling marriage. Seriously, It fantasize about our future life together, My hopes are high...

6. The way to my heart is  putting the toilet seat down. Fuck, I'll love you forever if you dont let me fall in the fucking toilet! ahahahahahaha, NECK KISSES! 

7.  I am passionate about being a amazing wife and mother. I strive everyday to be better. I want to make both my daughter and my husband proud. I absolutely love our new family, and never want to let anyone down. 

There you have it! I've filled in the blanks~

Enjoy mamas!

xoxox!!

SUPER UPDATE!

Oh my my my....

What's up all you awesome hookers?! Have you missed me...probably not! Just RUDE! lol

Its been one crazy weekend and a awesome start to a new week! 

This weekend...What did I do...Oh yes...Friday, this bitch right here rode her bike 4.5 miles to work and 4.5 miles back...and good lord that shit was exhausting! But it felt GREAT!

Saturday...I got up at the ass crack of dawn (7am lol) and dropped my little one off at a friends, while I went and ran some stadium. That seriously kicked ALL of the ass that I have! OMG! I could have died! I only ran them for approx...10 minutes, but it was a total of 13. I did however only job up the steps and walked everything else. I realized I did have to hope a fence afterwords! lol. My legs were NOODLES. On top of that I went to my moms to swim. Yeah My stupid ass decided to swim 10 laps, NOT SMART! Sunday was difficult!

My baby Girl at the sitters on Saturday...If u look closley, you can see the doggi to the left of the picture about to give kisses, hence the silly face! <3

Sunday I was sore as shit! Ugh! But I still managed rearrange the living room because guess what, my 6 month old is a avid crawler! LOL. So being the genius mommy that I am I made all kinds of room for her to crawl! I also SUPER cleaned my apt. I have to start making it baby safe in the next few weeks! It's that serious! So Sunday was a semi relaxxing day. That night was the candlight vigil for my former boss phil. I am really glad that I went. It brought a sense of closure to him being gone, but he will never be GONE, only phsyically. Spriritually he is still here, and I will always ahve the most amazing memories of this man! I am blessed to have known him! 

Then The week started and I had Monday off as well (3 days in a row WHAAAAAAT!) So I layed around and hung out and took another day off from exersize. I really was struggling to walk! Since my little pumkin is a big girl now, (she pulls herself up) I played on the floor with her and she crawled all over me! I swear she is toooo damn cute! This was how we spent our monday! 

 Full tummy = Happy Baby <3

 Kisses from mommy! 

 So proud of my girl! She loves being mobile! 

 Hey Mommy Look at me! I can stand! D'aawwww! 

 Damn She is so Pretty! Im gonna have problems. Sigh..Papa wheres ur gun! lol

 BIG GIRL! 

 I love these two pics (above and below) 

 Helping mama read! 

It was an amazing day hanging with my little! I love her being able to get around. She seriously makes my world complete! I could not be more blessed!

Tuesday was an okay day. Baby girl had her 6 month check-up. You know what that means...SHOTS! Ahhhh! I didn't laugh at her this time. I just cuddled her. She's more aware now, so I feel way worse then the last two sets of shots she's gotten. She's still so damn cute when she cries! But she did well. 

She is my little big girl! My amazing doctor said that she is very advanced in her motor skills. NO SHIT, she's gone from rocking, to sitting up, to crawling, to pulling herself up in 2 weeks. YA THINK doc...ya think!! lol. I was informed she will be walking before I know it. She's 2 feet tall. I am 5'10. Are you shitting me! Hello fucked up back, how are you today.! Sigh...Im so in for it! I assume by the time she is reunite with papa...She WILL be walking, and we will be surprised! 

I also had work today, nothing special there...lol

After work I did hit up the gym. Ohhweeee! That was some shit right there. 

Honestly...for not having done crap in the past year...doing this on the elliptical was pretty fucking amazing! I completed the 2 miles in 23:26. My goal was to beat 24 minutes. SUCCESS! I feel good about it! Very proud of myself. I must keep this up. Next is to bump smoking. I hate it, IDK why I do it, but I need to QUIT that shit!  Sighh...

I also went crazzzyyyy making bows! I decided to keep my bows simple cause i just SUCK at the boutique bows, and loopy surround bows! lol. But these are pretty fucking awesome I if I may say so myself! LOL

Also today I got some sad news about one of my mamas! Most of you know her. And since she hasn't blogged about it I'm not going to put her business out there. But I just want her to know, I'm here for her through all her trials and tribulations! Your a strong bitch, and I'm proud of you for all you've accomplished in this past week, and imma be right here by your side through this next chapter in your life and forever after. Your stuck with me bitch! Deal with it! 

It's been a long today...and it's past my bed time! Hope all you hookers are well! I've missed you! Now get me some stalkers, I feel naked with only 6! LOL.

xoxox!!

Your standing up, BUT WHY!

Friday we meet again. My last day of work for the week! Although this weekend is going to be very sad. My former bosses funeral is saturday down in LA. I don't think I will be attending. It breaks my heart, but I don't know how I would even react while I'm there. If I go, I'll be a blubbering baby, with snot dripping from my nose, big red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. Seriously, I'm just not ready to say good-bye. Will I ever be, NO probably not. It's still not real to me. I can't handle it. GRRR! Sunday night I will be able to pay some kind of respects at his candle light vigil here in town. I'm thankful for that. 

In other news, hubby passed his exam today. I'm so proud of him, He's kicking ASS out there. He also HATES it with a passion! Poor babe! I've been thinking about making some kind of....AIT care package for him. I realize he doesn't need ur typical hygienic items because he can buy them there, and he can't have candy or food in his room, so WHAT THE FUCK am I supposed to put in it. I seriously cannot come up with anything good, I am lacking in the creativity department, but I know it would make him happy if I could come up with something...sigh, the complicated life taha! 

Seriously my kid is like way to damn advanced and I don't think I can be happy about it. Yesterday..Today...No yesterday....She decided, hey Im only 6 months n a week, I guess Ill start pulling myself up and standing. SERIOUSLY CHILD...NO! Stop! She barely got crawling down, In fact she hasn't perfected it, but she sure can get around better. She's done all this in the matter of 2 weeks! From rocking, to crawling, to hanging out on her knees, to now pulling herself up. SHE's just buff! sigh...I just...I cant! She's SO SHORT, if she's walking at 8 months, I'm going to cry! 

She's all super proud and happy. Shoot me now! 

Im having a trip down memory lane...

How was she ever so tiny, and OMG....I freaking LOVE this girl! <33

Another day down, another day closer to being back with my lover. 

Only...70 more days! LOL how ugly! 

xoxox!!!

Blog Stalk Friday & Finish this Sentence Bitch!

"Finish This Sentence Bitch....!"
1. When I'm home alone I love to SLEEP, cause Im a lazy bitch! 2. I am guilty of kissing my hubbys picture every night before I fall asleep, sappy I know.3. My favorite cuss word is bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!4. Of all the things I've learned I hate cleaning the most.5. The worst thing I've done while having sex is bump teeth while kissing, and my partners reaction was laughing his ass off. Im talented and shit! 

This day can SUCK IT!

Well shit...I never expected today to go the way it did. Its crazy how someone can make a lot of sense with only a general idea of what is going on in my life. A friend told me today "when you get over it sometimes you realize its smaller then what it seemed at first, and you 2 will laugh about it later, but if you tell people it gives them a sour thought about him and then they don't like him." And she hardly knows anything about what I'm experiencing, but summed it up so fast I was shocked. It's SOO TRUE. Venting does actually give off a negative impression. I guess I don't speak on the positive enough. Im not making excuses either. We have a rough past, we have a lot of work. No relationship is all cupcakes and lollipops. But just cause Im sad about stuff, doesn't mean I want to tell the world, or even my closest friends. If I don't feel like it, I just don't feel like it. It's nothing against anyone. On my time, when I feel like I am ready to talk about things, I will, and If I never do, It should be understood. 

--------------------------------------

This military life, even though its barely the beginning, is difficult, and to be honest, Its not going to get any easier. But I chose to live it with my hubby. So I will do just that. Sometimes I will feel alone, especially after I move away from friends and family. I will have to make new friends, and Im not against that, but never have I ever said I was going to leave the ones I have now behind. I am excited for the journey that lies ahead. In fact I cant wait. Im ready for a change of scenery, and a new experience, SO READY! I realize for weeks maybe months, and hopefully never but years we could be apart because of the military, whether its for training, or deployment it is going to be rough. Not many will understand what I'm about to be going through. Accept military spouses/personel who have been through it. There will be good times, scary times, and sad times. But I chose to venture on this journey with my husband and/or daughters father. Because I love him, I support him, and I am DAMN proud of him. He doing what many don't and wont. Its hard on the both of us. And were learning as we are going. 

-----------------------------------------

In the past two weeks SO MUCH has happened. Not just with my hubby. What I went through last night had A LOT to do with the loss of my boss, tied in with tiny tidbits of other things that are just happening. Overwhelmed and shit. IT HAPPENS! Its called life. I pray to god every night for the people Im closest to. And some have NO IDEA I pray for them. No, NONE do. Not a single person, because I've changed in the past few months. I've grown up. A LOT! Im def not the same person I was. And Im def just fine with that. 

When Im really sad and depressed, horribly negative thoughts fill my head I cant help it, Its like do you really expect me to be all, OH FUCK IM THE SHIT, when all the hormones and extra shit are being released in my system causing the negativity. My god. If I cut people off, its because they expect to much of me, and I don't meet their expectations, sorry but I will be forever changing as I grow old. 

Im glad today is over, the hubby had a pretty crappy day at AIT, He's got a huge final friday, and another huge exam next wednesday. The pressure is on. So I don't think I'll be talking to him much besides wishing him luck, and sending positive vibes to him. He has hardcore studying to do, He has to pass or he'll get recycled, and I really will lose it if I have to be away and extra 2 months. 

I love my husband. With all my heart. I love our daughter. I love the family that we have created.  

My love is real, 

and genuine. 

& he knows it <3

With that said I'm out. Gonna go make some bows! (:

xoxox!!

Hopeless

Do you ever just feel hopeless. Lost. Alone.
I been feeling this way for weeks now. I don't know how to be.
I've cried more then I wanted to.
It's like, I can't talk to anyone about it, because its personal, and people are quick to judge/or help but not help at the same time.
I don't know what to feel, what to think, or what to do.
I really just want to disappear from existence, the only thing stopping me is my baby, but with this depression, it's become extremely hard to keep going, keep fighting.
My body goes numb, and I cry so much and so hard my head aches, and eyes swell.
Why am I just not good enough.

),:

Tradegy

Everything was going good this morning, until I got on Facebook and saw and heart stopping post. 

My former boss at my present job, was suddenly taken from us, and is now home, up above watching over us. As the story unfolded, we all learned that our loved one Phillip Johnson drowned last night at a lake nearby. He went into the water to get a little kids sandal, and suddenly went under and never came up. We don't know how or why he had to go so soon, he was only 27, about to graduate from college, with a loving and adoring girlfriend of many many years. This man was the absolute best boss I could have ever had the pleasure of working under. He was funny, caring, super friendly, hard working, and just an all around amazing person. I'll never forget my first day of training, when he was telling us how to run attractions, rock wall to be specific, and was like "fuck that, you don't gotta wear the belt, no one does." From that day, I knew I was going to have a blast at work. A boss who cusses, SERIOUSLY! Loved it! My heart hurts deeply for this loss. Giving the news to all of the former and present employees who worked under Phil, was something I never thought I would be doing. Hearing them cry on the phone, everybody's disbelief, no body wanted to believe it, and the toughest men shed tears of grief. I'll never forget you Phil. I respected you to the fullest! May You rest in piece, I know your up there watching over us, and living it up! See you bro! 

On a positive note, This weekend was pretty laid back. Today I went with my mom to see Ice Age: Continental Drift. AMAZING! I absolutely LOVED it! I plan to get all the ice age movies for my little! She'll adore them! We also Had some fun in the sun, at a friends house on saturday. Here Goes....

 My pretty Baby just chillen <3

She also eats my face, but I lovveesss her! 

And I'd Like to end this post with a couple Laughs. These E cards Get me every time! 

Heres to a positive week! 

Love you hookers! 

xoxox!!

Friday The 13, Bitch I own you!

Friday Friday, Gotta Get Down on Friday! 

Friday the 13th, WHAT WHAT! 

Wasssuuuppppp Hookers! I'm In a CHIPPER mood this evening. 

Why, because bitch, I can be! lol. Only Joking. 

Spoke with the hubby to tonight, he appeared to have a shitty 13th. My poor cupiecake. ): It sucks balls to not be able to give him an hug and just be there for him when shit hits the fan. Distance can kiss huge donkey testicles! 

On another note, we decided that I would get a gym membership tomorrow, so I can do what I've been bitching about since.....Last summer (I was preggo...My fucking excuse in life for everything!) WORK OUT and get fucking sexy as shit, and stunt on hookers! LOL. Im soooo damn excited to run, and lift and be a fucking maniac in the gym! You ready for the annoying fitness posts...NO, SUCK IT! 

Also, remember last week, my daughter like began to rock right. Mama was so proud, My mom was like ohhhh don't worry, she'll be rocking for a long time before she crawls....To hell with that shit. This little girl is crawling. 6 months 2 days old, and she can get in about 3 crawls. LOL, Cutest shit of my fucking life! Shes soooo tiny, I weighed her today, and she weighed in at 14.3 lbs! She's about 4 inches of the ground (LOL) when she's crawling, Its quiet humorous. Goodness I love her face! 

Well my Kickass Friday the 13th is coming to and end. Thank god! Hope you a'll had a pretty rad one as well, with no bad luck to intervene and make it shitty! 

Lots of shit planned for tomorrow. Can't wait! 

xoxox!!

Sunshine Award

Well Thank you much [A Daft Scots Lass] for nominating me for this sweet little award. 

This award is given to blogs which "contribute to the blogging community in a positive or inspirational way".

Hard to believe I do such a thing given all the drama in my life at the moment, but it did make me smile so I suppose I can get with it! 

Those receiving the Sunshine Award are asked to:

Answer ten questions about yourself.

Pass the award on to 10 bloggers you enjoy, link to their blogs, and let them know you nominated them.

So here are my answers to the 10 questions:

Favourite Colour : Black/hott pink

Favorite animal : Little Round furry Kittens

Favorite number : 14 7+7=14 DOUBLE LUCK! 

Favorite drink : Water, So refreshing! 

Favorite website: Facebook, Its like crack! Damn you Facebook, I need a 12 step program! 

Passions: sex...Ohhh thats not what you were asking! LOL. Exercise, music, sleeping ( I am sooooo passionate about that!) and networking now! 

Prefer getting or giving presents: This question...Ugh! I adore giving gifts, the looks on the getters face when they open one of your heartfelt gifts is pricless! 

Favorite pattern:  Zebra cheetah. 

Favorite day of the week: Saturday! 

Favorite flower: Pink Rose. Idk y. 

And I dont have many followers, So for everyone reading this your tagged! YAY! Go you! You WIN! <3<3

xoxox!!

GOOGLE & Tears

Another not so amazing thursday. Can a bitch catch a break,

 the hysterical crying as I got to work, cost me $35. Boss was like, go home, and gave me a hug. 

Humiliation at its finest. 

The snot and tears on my shirt, the coughing and lack of breathing didn't help either. 

Horrible. I want to leave the past in the past. 

I make mistakes, Im not perfect, nor will I ever be. I have apologized for my faults. I want a breath of fresh air. I had/have high hopes for this big lifestyle change into the military.

 In my eyes it was a huge breath of fresh air, as well as a challenge, 

one I was more then willing to take on. I still am. 

I've never been so proud of my husband for stepping up, and taking on these responsibilities. To be a soldier as well. Even though the journey has just begun, and he hasn't been through any deployments, 

I still believe he has accomplished many many things, and is one strong individual. 

Im proud of my hubby, not many would sell their soul to the country, and fight for millions of people they don't know, and to add to it, he isn't even american! 

My husband is full blown 100% Dominican. And still chooses to fight for america. 

My god, In my eyes he is so amazing. And because who I am, I will always fight for him. Good or bad, whatever we face, I fight. I just pray it pays out in the end. 

We could have a great relationship, If we get this marriage thing right, and work together on all things in life. I know that because he is a soldier, unfortunately, the army comes first, and me and tiny come second, but hell, what's a man with out his wife holding him up along the way! I love my baby! 

Anyways...on a lighter note, I was talking with my whore, and whenever we are in a predicament, I'm always like google that shit. 

GOOGLE = The answer to everything. 

Every fucking question you could ever imagine you can find the answer on google. ACCEPT, i repeat ACCEPT videos on nipple stimulation. Yes bitches, I really looked that shit up in my last trimester trying to pop out Jazelle. I was sooo serious! lol, but I didn't understand how to do it, and there were exactly 0 videos showing you how to. LMAO! Do not judge me hookers! Other then that, everything I've ever questioned, thought about, anything, I have been able to google it and get an answer! With that said...

GOOGLE I Love you bro! lol

Another day down, another day closer to being with my babe. I'd count the days, but 3 months is way to fucking much to count! Sigh....Speed the fuck up time. Good lord! 

xoxox!!

Happy Belated 6 months Jazelle

Holy Shit, My baby is a half year old. OMG, seriously where did the time gooo! 

This Little blessing joined the world and my family... 

January 11, 2012. 

She's been nothing but a joy to have around, from her precious smile, to her hilarious crying. She Is my beautiful little angel, and I am so blessed and proud to call her my daughter.

 Mommy and Daddy Love you Tiny <3

Life is happening before my eyes. And I'm missing out on it I guess. BOO! Yesterday we received the play pen, I was totally psyched! She loves it! I also received my new HTC Amaze celly. Its cool I guess, there's not much of a difference between this phone and my old HTC Sensation. But I liked being showered in little gifts then weren't free! HA! Ive been working since tuesday, and Im not done till tomorrow. Its still hotter then zebras cooter out. Im hoping my mom was being serious about a trip to the coast this weekend. That would make my week. 

Update on Love: I don't really know what's going on in my own relationship. We haven't talked since tuesday, and that convo was pretty shitty.  So our last amazing convo dates all the way back to sunday. Boy do I miss that convo! I don't understand nothing bout love anymore, I know what I feel. Thats about it. but meh. I will forever be his girl, as long as he'll have me. (: 

xoxox!!

The Roller Coaster Life

Since my hubby has been in AIT in San Antonio, our relationship has just been one hell of a ride on a roller coaster. I shit you not. The ups and downs I've been experiencing, suck fucking balls. I hate it. I hate it SO much! I am such a caring, loving person, believe it or not, that the shit Im going through with him just shatters me! I become so weak and depressed, then we solve it, (there's those highs) and then POW, back to some low as fuck lows. Im a fighter though. Im on the ride with him no matter how good or bad it gets, I just really hope we can figure this shit out, before its gets so bad it never goes back up! Though I prefer to just experience the highs all the time, I'd totally be down with a drive....straight and steady pullleeaasseee! 

Im not perfect, and anyone who claims they are can suck a fat one! Damn Liars, life gives you lessons everyday, you live and you learn, I've come a long way. I'd like to say I am proud of the woman I have become, I mean FUCK I graduated college with a BA, Im a mother to a beautiful daughter, Im a wife thats fucking kickass if you ask me, and have a couple pretty awesome friends. I don't need much else to be happy. I not about the material shit. I only need what's required to live and be a parent. I ask for nothing more. Honestly I don't. I cant deny the fact that I do own some nice things, but I would give them up in a heartbeat if I needed to, aka sell them bad boys if ever in a financial struggle, and I've come close to doing it. But to me what is important in my life, is happiness and love, unconditional love, and family. Oh and paying bills. as much as I hate those stupid fucking things, rent, PG&E, and car payments happen to be on my TOP list of things to fucking handle. There are just some things that are a necessity, and if I didnt have a baby, I'd fucking ride my gottdamn bike everywhere, cause then I'd be sexy as fuck from all that exercise! lmao. WINNING, but thats not the case so whatever. Car thats falling apart it is! 

I cannot sit here and be fake, and act like my life is perfect, and I'm always happy and shit, cause thats just not the case. I have some amazing days, where I'm riding on cloud nine, and I have so horrific days where I just cry and cry and cant stop crying. Today I took another ride on the roller-coaster of marriage, and it wasn't a fun one. I felt numb, I felt confused, I couldn't understand what was happening, in fact I still don't. But because I am who I am, a woman who doesn't give up on anything she believes in, I'm going to ride it out, and see what happens, and love unconditionally. I'll hold my ground of course, but I have to expect the unexpected. I bet you hookers are wondering WTF is this bitch talking about. She's saying a WHOLE lot with out saying anything at all! I took a huge leap by even going THERE with my readers, but hey...YOLO! lol

This bitch has a long day ahead of her and is NOT looking forwards to it! 

sigh...

xoxox!!

Random Thought Monday

Another hot as fuck monday! Booo! 

I attempted to hit up the social security office so I can change my last name legally. And there was not one available seat in that large office! Seriously...WTF, and there were so many mexicans in there. I couldn't do it. I have NO patience for shit like that! But I did buy the new Chris Brown CD. Deluxe Edition, and I <3 It! Such a sexy man! I will be falling asleep to that sweet voice tonight. 

Random Thought Monday:

Shaving!

So I was sitting here thinking about how much I hate shaving. And It dawned on me how fucking easy guys have it. They don't have to shave shit. Only their faces if they "want." We have to shave EVERYTHING! Except for our arms and eyebrows, and some women choose to shave those too (why IDK) but fuck. It's annoying and time consuming. Of course, I speak for myself only, not all women groom their cooters. I for one like mine to be clean cut and pretty. (: Just another damn thing to add to the list. Armpits, legs, cooter. I'm too much of a chicken shit to wax anything. But man, in this one case I wish I was a dude. They have it so easy, besides the random boners, but thats for another Random Thought Monday! (: 

Alright Bitches, Hope you All had a great Monday, as great as a Monday could get! Ha!

xoxox!!