Paradise Ca

I'd be jealous if I were you.

Just listen to the name.

PARADISE.

hahaha.

No it's not a damn beach with palm trees, and a fold up chair with umbrella with Coronas. LOL

It's a small town, full of old people and hicks, but Its where my momma and papa are so it's here I am starting fresh.

I am very hopefully, and excited to be getting this new fresh start.

I am blessed and so very thankful, to be given this chance to get myself together, and have a little bit of help from the parental units.

They adore my baby girl, and are beyond excited to get to hang out and play with her. I am excited for them as well.

I am looking forward to the future. Working, making monies, saving, and doing big things, gaining self confidence, and getting fit. You do not even understand!

I will admit, I miss my hubby like crazy! It is so hard to walk away for awhile to better yourself. And I know that all sounds horrible, but I seriously could not get a grip while I was there. I was going under. But i do love my hubby with ll my heart, and after this time is up, Im going to be back with him, and we will live happily ever after. hahahaha.

Thats my amazeball update! Pray for me lovers!

xoxox!!

On My Way To a Fresh New Start.

Its been awhile since I've made a post. 

):

I know super slacking. 

So....A lot has happened in such a short amount of time. 

I suppose I'll fill ya'll in. 

Well, my birthday was lousy, as to be expected. I absolutely HATE my birthday, I haven't enjoyed it in forever. So WAMP!

It pisses me off that I always have the teensiest bit of hope that on my birthday I might actually feel special....When I know I wont. So I don't know why I have that little bit of hope. Im an idiot. LOL. 

MOVING ON....

A major event happened in my life the day after my birthday. Its not like an epic event, but was a real eye opener, and with this eye opener, The hubby and I have decided we will part ways for a bit. 

I have a lot of shit I've got to work out, as does he. But for me, I need to work on finding myself again. I really lost my way over the past few years. Not a good look. 

So I am looking towards a positive ending. 

I am going to go back to cali for a bit, work on myself, get a job, save up money, and work out. I am excited because for me, its a fresh start to a new chapter in our lives. We lost the connection that we desire to have, and because I have fallen so for into a pit of self loathing and depression, The only way I can think of to pull myself out, is to go away for a bit. 

No our marriage isn't over. We're gonna work together, while apart for little awhile. Get our feet back on the ground. 

Probably a lot of you are like WHAT THE SHIT how does that work. Well don't fucking judge me. I got this shit. Im full blown dedicated/faithful to my husband. I just need a chance to get my back on my feet. Its' complicated. 

Out here in Colorado I feel trapped as a stay at home mom, though I am craving work. Its just not that simple to pick up and work when you have a small child, and tooo many bills for your own health. The fact that when Im in cali, I can work and have a trusted babysitter AKA grandma, I can not only save money on a baby sitter, but I can feel my daughter is in safe good hands. She is to small to tell me if anything bad happened at "daycare" therefore I do not trust it, also Colorado is a shitty place for kids. NOTHING BUT CHILD MOLESTATION AND CHILD ABDUCTIONS IN THIS BITCH. Not to mention I recently read about a 3 MONTH old, who died at daycare because she was face down on the floor and none of the damn workers payed any attention. ITS THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE that fucks me up as a mother. UGH!

So because I can save, and find a transferable job, so when I do return to Colorado, we will have a better foundation for our marriage, and parenting, but also, we may be more financially stable. Alll which makes me more happy and confident as a women, mother, and wife. 

So I will continue to stay positive about whats to come with myself and my marriage. Gonna do nothing but send out positive vibes, that this will work out for the better! (:

And because I am a sexy bitch, I will leave you with this. (: 

xoxox!!

My Life Rocks Via IG

Linking up this week with Destiny for my life rocks Via IG

I'm pretty much top notch LAZY as FUCK today...sO I didnt number em. 

<3 <3 <3

Happy Hump day WOOO~

xoxox!!

Updgrade Vs. Update

So I have a Macbook (laptop)

And since I moved away from friends and family, We rely on skype and oovoo to video chat. Well skype is fine and dandy, but Im unable to use oovoo.

So I did research. 

Little did I know, I have to have MAX OS 10.6 or higher to install oovoo...as well as adobe flash player (No I also cant play my stupid facebook games anymore) I currently have 10.5.8

So I did more research...

I assumed, these were updates, and my stupid computer should do these automatically, so I decided to bitch at someone on apples website. 

Come to find out...10.6 is an UPGRADE, not an UPDATE, and cost 20 bucks.

WHAT THE ROYAL FUCK.

So basically, I have to pay money, for an UPGRADEE, so I can do the typical free shit I was doing before on my computer that I'm unable to do now. 

Apple, I used to love your shit....Now you fucking piss me off!

UGh! Happy Tuesday! not....lol

xoxox!!

Bloggie Revamparation!

Happy Friday Hookers!

TGIF right...well not more me. Just another day in the year really...lol. I need a life.!

Anyyywhhoooo.....

I was STUPID bored last night, and decided, I'd give my blog a make over. 

Given that Im still Blogtarded, All I know how to do is change the background and layout/look. 

So thats what I did. 

I chose black roses (which look grey...WAMP) because I am obsessed with Trey Songz song "Black Roses." Im awesome I know... 

Anyways, I'm totally Diggin it, and Imma try to figure out how to create a new banner, and button. 

On tooo GOOOOOOOGLE!

xoxox!! 

Fill in the Blank Friday Woo Hooo!

Yay for link ups. Its been awhile since I did this one, and I'm totally in the mood for it. 

So head on over to The Little Things We Do and fill in the blanks!

1.  My best quality is that I am honest. Who knew. 

2.  One of my less flattering qualities is that I nag. Yes I nag my husband all the time. And IDGAF. 

3.  I'd rather be physically fit. But my damn knee is alll stupid and swollen. Damn you ACL!

4. Something I have been challenged with lately is Finances. But isn't that everybody? I wish I was rich. 

5. I am looking forward to  Heading home for christmas and new years to visit family and friends. I'll be sad to be away from my annoying hubby though. 

6. A super random factoid about me is I chopped some booby off back in 2004. (I was 17) and those bitches grew back. Then I breast fed....now I need implants. LOL

7.  I want to find a way to make money from home. Some kind of hobby like bow making or beanies, or SOMETHING so that I can bring some sort of $$ in for the family...since i have a tiny one...and cant afford child care right now. 

ITS FRIDAY! WHOOOO, If I was a working mama, 

I'd be like...YAY for the end of the work week! 

But nah...everyday is friday for me! LOL. 

Being a momma is a 24/7 job though. 

WEEKENDS...pshh whats that? 

Happy Freakin Friday Bitches!

10 Months Old. Where has the time gone...

Today my little booger is 10 months. 

Im all kinds of sad about it. 

Like in 2 months she'll be 1. 

A freaking toddler. 

SAD FACE!

Though she already acts like a toddler...minus the back talk...lol

I get back babble. I love it though!

Im blessed to have this lil wild child running around the apartment though. She is SO SO very busy, but Its amazing watching her learn and grow. 

So amazing, that Im looking forward to more...In a few years LOL. Pregnancy was a bitch. and I HATED IT...

But once I saw that beautiful little face. It was wellllllll worth the drama. haha. 

Im ghetto and BROKE....So I don't pay for photographers, because I am a boss.....So here's shots from her 10 month home photo-shoot. LOL. 

Its thanksgiving theme since of course, November is thanksgiving holiday! (:

Yay!! Happy 10 Months honey! Mommy Loves you so much! MUAH! 

Hope you hookers had a great weekend! 

xoxox!!

November Goals

  Found this link up through none other then Destiny @ Rockin' Mama
And I for one am a huge fan of goal setting!  Gives me something to work on and look forward to, and when I accomplish my goals... I am one proud bitch!  And I need a little proudness in my life. 
My November Goals

• Walk 2 miles 5 days a week (rain or shine)
• Drink more water
• Eat at least 3 meals a day, healthy ones. 
• Cut back on unhealthy snacking
• Make one new friend in Colorado
• Spend more quality time with my daughter, and less time on Facebook/Twitter/IG
• Quit smoking. Lord please please help me with this one. 

Your turn. Head on on over to My So-Called Chaos, and link up! 

xoxox!!

"The Incline" Manitou Springs Co

On Saturday, hubby and I decided to give the all famous "Incline" a go, to test our physical strength. 

Stupidest idea ever!

I haven't done any hardcore fitness in IDK how long. 

My hubby of course, is in the miliary, so his punkass is super fit. 

The "Incline" in Colorado, is a mile high hike (stairs) that begin at the bottom of pikes peak and literally goes STRAIGHT UP! It looks way longer then a mile. 

Se the line in the mountain. Yep thats the hike. Crazy people do it. 

Now given that I am from Fresno ca, and our elevation is either 0 or below zero lol.....climbing a mountain, starting at over 6,000 feet and heading higher, with no prior fitness....STUPID IDEA!

This was quiet possibly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Including giving birth!

I had an epidural, shit was cake! lol. 

The journey up the mountain was PAINFUL! 

I cried, I yelled, I bitched and complained, I gave up like 23094280 times. 

But my hubby pushed me, WAY PAST my limits. 

I was in no condition to finish the hike. I have bad knees and ankles, a bad back, I'm not used to this elevation and, the icicng on the cake...I'm a smoker. (trying to quit)

This is less then a quarter of the way up....I hate those stairs with a passion....

So I was huffing and puffing, my thighs, quads, and calves were BURNING, I cried like a little bitch, but I dont give a fuck, cause I fought past it all. Even though I was SURE this hike would kill me. Somehow I'm still sitting here breathing. AMAZEBALLS!

After over and hour and a half of struggling, wanting to quit but knowing I couldn't cause there was no way in hell I was climbing back down those things, my hubbys encouragement and drive, and the rest of the hikers tell me to keep going, we finally reached the top!

Holy shitballs, I was done! No more stairs! WHOOOO!!!!

Yes I look a hottass mess, but I was literally crawling up them damn stairs. my legs couldnt do all the work. 

I hadn't planned to reach the top the first time. I knew it would be a huge challenge, and I wasnt prepared. As you can see we took our daughter, no she didn't like the climb, at least not the stopping part. lol i hadnt brought her any food or liquids for the hike, cause like I wasnt planning to finish. It also cooled off like 15 degrees at the top. I freaked out cause she was freezing and hungry and thursty. I did give her as much of my water as I could after we reached the top. Its not like she did any work but still. higher elevation, colder weather. Sigh. So...I am a shitty parent for that. I felt so bad. ):

The hike down, SO MUCH EASIER! There was a trail down.I did almost fall because the loose gravel and semi step decline in some areas....but hey, I FUCKING DID IT!

Hubby had the nerve to ask me yesterday if i was down to hike it again today after he got off work. I loked at hime 13 different kinds of crazy.

MY BODY IS ENTIRELY TO SORE TO FUNCTION!

Well there you have it. My saturdays accomplishment and endeavor. 

I AM SUPER PROUD OF MYSELF!

BOOM!

xoxox!!

I Love Me Monday OOH SOO MUCH!

A LINK UP I DESPERATELY NEEDED. <3

This is MY month. I will be 26 this month, Therefore, This is going to be a special I love me Monday! WHOOT!

Duck Face and Cleavage. 4 eyes, Dog Tags, and Make-up

I felt pretty today, I spent some time on myself. 

No It wasn't peaceful, I had my minnie me bitchin' the entire time.

I never get peace. ): 

{My I Love List}

I love...Tickling my baby girl, just to here her silly giggle

I love...My baby girls smile with her two tiny teeth, even during my lowest lows, her smile makes me smile

I love....cold weather, clouds just make me happy. 

I love...Feeling loved. The touches, the kisses, the random compliments, it just feels good. 

I love....my momma. I miss that woman so much, being 3 states away is hard.

I love...good friends. ones that will listen to me bawl my eyes out over the phone, and try to calm me, even if it doesn't work, all while remaining supportive. 

I love...being tall, yes i used to hate that shit....but I've embraced the amazon-ness

I love....getting my nails done, I feel so girly, I miss you nails!!

I love....full body massages, seriously need a professional one right about now!

I love...being a mom. Its definitely a challenge, and I don't know what I am doing most of the time, and im constantly failing, and getting frustrated, but it is definitely fullfilling and gives meaning to my life. 

I love....that I will get to see another year of life on the 28th. Blessed to have made it this far, and I hope to see many many more. 

and finally....

I love....My family. They are my world. We struggle, we fight, we kiss and make-up. Marriage and a daughter aren't easier, but its the journey/climb that make it worthwhile. (:

Well there you have it, my loves for the month of november!

Hope you Love what I had to say!

Have a ass smacking monday bitches! 

xoxox!!

FUCK YES FRIDAY (VIA IG!)

OH BOOM! Friday, means shower you with photos of my love child. LOL

Follow me on IG beetches! @Sweet_mama_love

1 & 2. My perfect lil elephant

3. Selfie

4. Throwing a fit cuz I put shoes on her.

5. DUCKFACE And I won the war! BOOM!

6. Innocence

7. Halloween 2020

Halloween is over, now its turkey month, and oh yeah, MY BIRTHDAY! WOOP! 26, Bring it bitch! 

Have a fucking fabulous friday hookers! 

xoxox!!

That random post...

Halloween is just around the corner, and since I just moved to a new city....Im not doing anything.

The little one is much to small to be trick-or-treating. DAMN IT, no free candy for this mama! 

I did, however, buy her a costume, so I can take pictures for her first halloween. (: 

Awesome mom, I know! 

The roller coaster of LIFE, is a bitch, and honestly want to fuck it it in the eye as payback for well shit, my life. LOL.

I have good days, and bad days, today is a better day, yesterday was a BAD day, and when they're bad, it's like I become a zombie, and cut the world off. 

It's not healthy, I need help, Im just to scared to reach out for it. Professional help, possibly meds. /: 

Im not adjusting well to the new change in the new city, my fears get the best of me, EVERY FUCKING TIME....Man...I just don't know. 

Trying to make myself better one day at a time I guess. 

Welp, I leave you with pictures of my little love, and all her crazy wild cuteness! And myself ofcourse! (:

 Yep...The actually knocked out crunchy and juice in hand.

 Always have extra pacis. 

 shes over run my ipod. I miss my ipod lol. 

 Empty cup, dont care. 

 Just being cute. 

My favoritest picture ever! Such a sweet innocent face! 

In hubbys flic. because I think its hella gangster! LOL

 Battle Rattle. Yep he dressed me, said the flic was lame. Fuck that lol.

 Pink Lips & a duck face! 

Cuddle Sesh with the little <3 

Well Its monday...so a another week lies ahead, hope its wonderful....

For all on the east coast hit but sandy, I hope you're safe, and everyone is in my prayers, yes I do that! (:

xoxox!!

Duck Face Tuesday!

Because I am simply amazing, 

I began to duck face all my photos, 

why because I'm awesome. Shit.!

Destiny over at Rockin Mama got all super jealous, 

and declared a Duck Face war. 

She's losing.

 taha! I miss her face though! 

 Winter Army Gear. 

BOSS

 My Winter Coat. FUCK YOU, it's a mans coat. AND IM PROUD! 

FUCK Im sexy! LOL 

Zebra Zit Cover UPPER...aka...Bandaid! JUDGE ME!

Ohhhh The DUCK FACERY! lol

The past month has been just a bunch of crazy. We're in an apt that are way to damn far away from post, and hubbys sergeant was like, THE FUCK, you cant afford that, move on post. I'll get you the nice housing. WAMP. So we may possibly be moving AGAIN within the next few weeks, if hubby figures it out. If not, BOOM, we have a long 11 months in this apt ahead of us. Not gonna lie, Ill miss the shit out of this apt, because its le magnificent, and the view is BOMB.COM! But living on post means I could see my hubby more and we could save more money! Le sighhhhhhh!

Well my lovies. Hope your having a FAB start to the week! Make it AWESOME! (:

xoxox!!

My Life Rocks (IG style babyeee)

So many wonderful IG pics this past week. I MUST SHARE! <3

1. Baby Girl rockin a hoodie and sunglasses at Fort Carson

2. The amazing sunset from my balcony. BE JEALOUS! 

3. My hair breakage its hideous!

4. Wearing hubbies winter army gear. LIKE A BOSS! lol

5. No Make-up, Lip Gloss, DUCK FACE! 

6. Amazing sunrise in Denver Co, Sad as shit morning tho!

7. Little baby girl watching TV trying to eat her toes?? lol

8. Gorgeous day in Colo Springs. BALCONY VIEW!

9-13 = ChEYENNE MOUNTAIN ZOO

9. Ohhh Hello Lion, whats good bro?

10. I appear to have looked like lunch.  

11. Up close and personal with the giraffes

12. The baby giraffe, OMG I love him, I want one! NOW!

13. Too slow, wants hair!

Hope you awesome hookers are having a fab week!!

Find me on IG : Sweet_mama_love

xoxox!!

We've Moved!

It's been one of the craziest weeks in awhile! 

I'm finally in Colorado!

It's GORGEOUS!

We have a amazing apartment with an amazing view. You should be jealous! :P

We have none of our belongings yet. They should be bringing them on the 14th in the morning! 

YES A FUCKING BED!

This blow up beds are shitty as fuck! My neck hurts so bad from it!

Sunday is also hubbys 22nd Birthday. Not sure if he wants to do anything yet. But we'll have a BED so we can have that amazing BITHDAY SEX! lmao. WIN!

We do live like 20 miles form the base, which on a good day takes 20 minutes. Its a shitty long drive at 5am, with a baby. Didnt really think that one through! SMH! Oh well. Were in a awesome area thats pretty safe, (so they say) haha!

I am SO beyond exhausted. So thats the update for now! 

Love Love Love you hookers!

xoxox!!

Its Okay Thursday!

Ohhh boy, after my longass couple weeks, I'm way over due!
Its ok...
To take like 5, 2 minute naps while your baby is playing.  To drive 20 miles to pick up your husband after just driving 20 miles from dropping him off. FML. To hate colorado springs elevation, these stairs are going to kill me! To keep telling yourself your gonna work out...but have yet to get to the rec center.  To cry because your shitty emotional for no fucking reason. To get upset because well shit, I want things too! To get like 15 hours of sleep in 4-5 days. WHOOO.... To doze off while driving....NO NO thats NOT OKAY! LOL To straighten your hair, then look at yourself in the mirror and go....that shits not straight....then walk away like FUCK IT, its hot! lol? To kiss your hubby in random places at random times! To stare at the view from my balcony and just be in love.!
Alright lovies! Hope you all are having a fucking kickass week!  Whats your its okays??
xoxox!!

Reunited and it feels so good!

Papas Homecoming. 

Awesome seeing that face again, and somehow....

we're the same height in the pic. 

LOL. 

It was amazing getting to see him after 4 months, and sleep next to him after 6 months!

We were DEAD ASS tired. Friday was a LONG FUCKING day! But it was worth it!

He was only home a complete 4 days...BOOO, and we took him to the airport yesterday, because he had to report to colorado today. TOTAL BUMMER.

Yesterday....The packers came and packed our shit. 

It was COMPLETE AWESOMENESS....cause I did NOTHING but watch!

Did you know they make boxes for beds. TAHA, news to me!

I could so get used to other people packing my shit! 

Today, the movers come. 

They'll come and steal my shit, and take it to Colorado. WIN!

Then I leave this shit hole called Fresno, and I'm off to the beautiful Colorado early friday morning. CANT WAIT!

Not gonna lie, Imma miss the shit out of CALI, and my few friends that I have here, but fuck it, I'm off to bigger and better things. 

It's time for another chapter to start in my life, so BRING IT.

P.S. If you read my last post i was ranting n raving about stress and my daughter and an apartment. sooo UPDATE: We have an apartment ready, move in dates the 6th. Looked gorgeous on the website LOL...My mom will be driving out there with me, therefore, my tiny gets to come along with us! YAY! Now I don't have to leave my booger behind! and She will be there for daddys 22nd Birthday. Yes, my hubby is young. SUCK IT! <3 On the other hand...we wont have SHIT in our apartment till like the 15. LOL. I dont even care. I just hope they'll loan us a bed and some eating utensils. IJS! ahaha!

Hope you hookers are having a great week so far.!

xoxox

Is this really happening right now! f&#$*

So, today we got the news that babes report date to Ft carson has been changed to 4 days earlier. COMPLETELY LAME!

This complicates EVERYTHING!

We have NO time now. 

We are now leaving oct 1 instead of 3rd, AND the movers don't come till the 3rd. Sooo WHO THE FUCK is supposed to be here when the movers come. 

SERIOUSLY annoying. 

So somehow I guess my mom becomes responsible for the movers, which isn't her job but ok. 

Our intentions were to leave my baby girl with my mom until we were settled in colorado. Well shit, seriously! I gotta leave her 2 days early, and thats not easy for me, cause I don't want to but it's for the best! and god only knows when we'll be settled....theres more to this thats stressful too like how the hell were gonna get her back out to us, and my mom moving to colorado as well. FML!

So basically this whole move is UP IN THE AIR. thats cool bro! UGH! 

I've finally decided on an apt. Its the last one, and its not for sure. It's not like I have a lot of time to get it going! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Can't I just crawl into a hole, and not deal with this. 

I miss being a child. When i had no responsibilities, and was carefree! FTW!!!

Hope you're all having a wonderful week!

xoxox!!